Connecting to My Skin
There’s so much vulnerable authenticity waiting to be made manifest in the world around me
Why don’t we talk about our insecurities more? Instead of openness, I see so many people trying to cover up, wrap around, contain + conceal their insecurities from simply existing and being seen and not just by others - but even finding space for it yourself.
And this just puts everyone on a never ending hamster wheel of ‘I have to be perfect’, ‘I must never show jealousy, or fear, or self doubt’, ‘I should do it all alone, everyone else is’.
But they’re not. They’re hiding. Ignoring. Shaming themselves and anyone else to experience anything messier than the squeaky-clean, what’s-profitable-and-pretty ideals we’ve come to uplift as a society.
Well I’m stopping there.
I’m uplifting the dirt.
Here’s a list of things I have felt/feel insecure about:
my smile
my arms
my desire for connection
the scars on my body
the limp in my walk
the speech impediment I can’t hear
my strength
my tenderness
my writing abilities
shit my abilities in general
the family I grew up with
the shoes I was wearing
the way my mouth moves when I talk
I hope in reading this list you come to Know how universal it is to doubt yourself. I hope the next time you feel beneath your power that you recognize the beautiful humanity in those emotions before shaming them beneath the surface.
Above all else - I hope you experience more vulnerability when meeting the self.
I hope one day, in your bed, or in a big field, or maybe in a yoga shalla in the Sacred Valley of Peru, you face the shaming of these emotions with a fullness that allows you to once again
really
smile.
