Breathing Into It

You never know what moments you’ll carry with you for the rest of your life. Some you can guess, sure. Your first kiss, first day of high school, honestly firsts in general seem to stick real well. But other moments are far less obvious, and even as they’re happening, unfolding beneath your gaze, you usually have no clue how greatly that moment will come to affect you, no clue how many times the future “you” has thought about the instance you’re living in right now. And this is just the weirdest thing to me, remembering things you never planned to remember, things that don’t even seem worth remembering, especially when there’s instances you want to remember and can’t. Moments where, even as it’s unfolding, you could try with everything you have to solidify that memory in your brain, and even still, through no will of your own, that memory can fade into extinction, nevermore to see the light of consciousness; never to be lived through again. 

But as I said, for all the dead memories, all those forgotten moments lost in the perils of consciousness, there are living, breathing moments too. And with every remembrance of a time that once was, new air is breathed into the lungs of the dusty memory, giving life to an ancient perspective all over again. 

Some of these moments you willfully breathe life into, through reminiscing or reflecting. But others are fed much more involuntarily, and somehow, without your permission, a passing comment from childhood can memorialize beneath your eyes.

It’s weird how many of the moments you’re feeding come from other souls. These are often the unrecognizably memorable interactions. It may be something you hardly even noticed in the moment. But the mind is a wonderful, tricky, thing. And one day, a trigger you didn’t even know existed is pulled inside of you, and you breathe air into a time that had long been dead to the world. And in those seconds, that moment is reborn. And that’s the thing about moments, although they can all die, becoming lost to the world we know, they can also all be revived, rediscovered, and relived. Through our memories, we connect with the energies of the past and bring life to a time that once was.  

You don’t get to decide which moments live, at least, not most of the time. And just as you can carry other’s moments, fostering them in your mind, throughout your lifetime, other’s can carry your moments, too. And thats another tricky thing, you never know when you’re creating a moment that will live, and when your living in a moment, that will die just as quickly as it began. And that can be a simultaneously relieving and terrifying thing to grasp. Everything you do can die just as quickly as you gave birth to it. So breathe in the knowledge, that this can all be forgotten, and never let eternity stop you from doing. But remember that every moment is capable of transcending the now, billowing throughout time and space, in future minds, capable of creating an immortal moment.

Your actions are living and dying. Don’t be the death of your own life and do something worth breathing.

-Ani Khēmeia